Transgender Couples’ Lives: Between Specificity, the Need for Normalization, and New Forms of Social Discrimination

The essay aims to explore how affectivity and self-determination are now fundamental in the choice of starting a family. It dwells on their importance for transgender people, who build stable relationships as a necessity arising from the intersection of both affective and sexual requirements, and the need for protection from the exclusion and discrimination they suffered in both heterosexual and homosexual environments. This research aimed to describe, analyse, and understand the psychological, emotional, relational, and imaginary aspects of transgender people, and the processes that led them to form a couple with another transgender or cisgender person. The results highlighted that the couples we examined express a strong need for “normalisation”. Their elaboration of the transgender identity is in some ways still influenced by the stigmatised conceptions of transgenderism and transsexuality that circulate in a society still rife with homophobic and trans-exclusionary instances. In more than one story, the family model pursued is the ideal traditional, heterosexual family. For some, the transgender condition is a central aspect of the couple, brought into play within the wider relationships, often also a source of pride (evident in the participation in LGBTQ+ movements). For others, it seems to be a mere stage on the way to “normality”, lived in the secrecy of the couple, in some cases even denied.